Beloved mother and grandmother, Helen Elizabeth Wolfe (nee Benson), died on November 20, 2021, after a brief illness. She was 82.
The daughter of the late Victor H. Benson and the late Lillian Joyce (Nancy) Harvey Benson, she was born in New South Wales, Australia, the second of five children, living much of her early life in Sydney's western suburbs, before emigrating to the United States with her late husband, Anthony (Tony), and their infant daughter, Stefany, in the early 1970s.
Helen and Tony met while working at the same pharmaceutical company, Helen as a secretary and Tony as a chemist, and were engaged after only six weeks of dating. Tony proposed to her on the side of the road while they waited for a mechanic to come and fix Tony's car, which had broken down yet again. They married in August 1961, and were together until Tony's death from brain cancer in June of 2002.
When their daughter was born a number of years into their marriage, Helen took on the role of stay-at-home mum with gusto, and when her husband was offered a more senior and better paying position in the US a few months later, she said goodbye to family and friends and embarked on a new adventure in the wilds of suburban New Jersey. Tony's work would also land them in Hong Kong for a short time before returning to the US permanently, but long enough for Helen to develop a lifelong affection for the region. She was absolutely heartbroken to leave behind her life in Australia, but knew the opportunities for her husband and daughter would be better in the US. She stayed busy raising Stefany, but also spent a lot of time hosting foreign visitors who worked with Tony, doing everything she could to make their stay in NJ as comfortable as possible, including hosting dinners at their home in Scotch Plains. This was the start of the tradition of inviting stranded company people over for Thanksgiving dinner, as many restaurants would be closed for the holiday. It became such an enjoyable event that several people would schedule meetings in NJ during the holiday week just so they could be there to celebrate with the Wolfes. Tony and Helen threw fun and memorable parties, with great food and drink, and lots of good conversation and laughter. The couple also traveled extensively, mostly in Europe, sometimes meeting up with Helen's three sisters.
Helen and Tony had only one child of their own, but were surrogate parents and role models to many who knew and loved them. Helen's list of “daughters” and “sons” was long, and quite a few of them liked to call her “Mom.” She was a good source of sound advice, but also knew when someone just needed an ear to listen to their troubles. She will be sorely missed by all of those who sought her counsel and emotional support.
After Tony's death, Helen retired from her busy social life, spending more time with her daughter and close friends. In 2018 she became a grandmother, and was in the delivery room when her granddaughter was born, smiling and looking like a child on Christmas morning. She relished her role as "Nanny," and ended up staying with her daughter as a "live-in" babysitter until her health deteriorated this past August.
Helen will always be remembered as a devoted wife and partner, a loving and kind mother, and a fun and funny grandmother, as well as a wonderful sister and friend. Her family is devastated by her passing, but hopes that all who knew and loved her will remember her as a generous, smiling, bright and beautiful person that could put everyone at ease.
Helen is survived by her daughter, Stefany, her granddaughter, Selina, her sisters Lee and Marianne Patsy, her brother Anthony, and numerous cousins, nieces, nephews, and their families.
A casual gathering in her honor will be held on Friday, December 3, 2021, from 5:00pm until 8:00pm, at Higgins and Bonner Echo Lake Funeral Home in Westfield, New Jersey. If you would like to attend the gathering via Zoom meeting, please contact her daughter. In lieu of flowers the family kindly asks for donations to be made to the charity of your choice in Helen's name.
To send flowers
to the family or plant a tree
in memory of Helen Wolfe, please visit our floral store.